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Kiss, miss and bliss

Look for two cards that belong together. A bliss is a pair, such as 8-8. A kiss is two ranks in a row, such as 9-10 or A-2. A miss is two ranks with one missing between them, such as 6-8 or A-3. For kisses and misses the ace is low, so it sits next to the Two and not the King: K-A is not a kiss and Q-A is not a miss.

The two cards together become one joker, which stands for any card. Add two of your other three cards and you have a three-card hand; the fifth card is thrown away.

Making your hand

With the joker and two natural cards, the joker plays as in AK47: a pair becomes a trail, two cards that fit a run become the best run they can, pure if they share a suit, two cards of one suit become a colour with the joker as the ace, and anything else becomes a pair of your higher card.

You often have several ways to make a joker. With 8-8-9-3-4 you could fuse the Eights, but fusing the 3-4 kiss and keeping the Eights as a pair makes three Eights, which is far better. Our table tries every way and plays the best one, so you never have to work it out mid-hand.

One rule can hurt: if two of your cards can fuse, you must make a joker. With 5-5-5-9-K the only joker comes from two Fives, so the natural trail of Fives is broken up and the hand becomes a colour or a pair. You play three natural cards only when no two cards fuse, which happens about once in 2,500 hands, always with ranks spread like A, 4, 7, 10 and K.

Kissing Missing, the four-card version

Kissing Missing is a close cousin with four cards. In the version most rule sites give, kissing is a pair and missing is two cards one rank apart, such as 6 and 8. Those two fuse into a joker that plays with your other two cards; with no kissing or missing pair you throw one card away and play the other three, and everyone plays seen. Our table deals the five-card Kiss Miss Bliss, but you read the jokers the same way in both.

Kiss Miss Bliss rankings

Best first, with how often each hand comes up, counted over every possible five-card deal. The starred cards are the two that fuse into the joker.

Who wins? Worked examples

Each pair of five-card hands below is compared by the Kiss Miss Bliss rules. Starred cards fuse into the joker, and faded cards are thrown away.

Betting, show and side show in Kiss Miss Bliss

Nothing about the betting changes. Everyone posts the boot, blind players bet the stake and seen players twice the stake, and you can pack at any turn. A show is possible once two players are left, and a seen player can ask the previous seen player for a side show while three or more remain.

When hands are compared, each player's best three-card hand counts. Equal hands tie, and on equal hands the player who asked for the show or side show loses; equal hands at a pot-limit showdown split the pot.

What the odds look like

Almost every five-card hand holds a kiss, a miss or a bliss, so nearly every hand has a joker and the rankings fill up from the top. Over every possible deal, about 36 hands in 100 are trails, 25 pure sequences, 22 sequences, 15 colours and only 3 pairs. A plain high card hand comes about once in 4,300 deals. Kisses make about half of all jokers, misses about two in five, and a bliss the rest.

Kiss Miss Bliss tips

• Think trail first. A pair among your five cards plus any kiss or miss elsewhere is a trail, and trails win most shows.
• Do not count on a natural trail. If the only way to make a joker breaks it up, the rules make you do it.
• A pair is a weak hand here: one made by the joker beats fewer than 2 hands in 100.
• A colour is weak too: it beats only about one hand in eight, because runs and trails are so common.
• Seeing is free. With five cards there is more to read, so look before the stake climbs.

Where versions differ

Kiss Miss Bliss changes from table to table. Some let you make two jokers of different kinds, and Kissing Missing deals four cards with only kissing (a pair) and missing (one rank apart). This table plays the five-card game with one joker, as the rule sites describe it.

Kiss Miss Bliss questions